Their #1 product would be "Smudged Windows."
Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd see a long-lasting chew toy.
Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with nose marks.
Dialog boxes would give you the choices of "OK, let's go," "No, no, bad dog," and "Stop that right now!!" instead of "Yes," "No," and "Cancel."
Instead of "Ta-da", the opening sound would be "Snort, snort, hrurrmph, hrurrmph!."
The "Recycle Bin" would be a dinner that someone didn't keep down. (Sorry, I know that one is gross! Coulda been worse.)
Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear a loud whooshing of gas.
Instead of "Start Me Up," the Windows95 theme song would be "Tear Stains on My Pillow."
Internet Explorer would be named "Wow, an open gate, I'm bookin!"
Windows95 logo would incorporate the British Flag.
Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Breeder/Judges."
Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Mack truck.
Flight Simulator would be replaced by Couch Potato Emulator.
All the desktop wallpaper would be splattered with droplets shaken off after drinking water.